A New Year

Another year and not a single post for 2009. It was a rough year. A year of ups and downs but the downs were really down and the ups not all that great in comparison. We had a wonderful vacation in Disney World in August and got a new mini van in May, but those great things were minor in comparison to the months-long stress of a possible strike at Jeff’s work and worst of all, the tragedy of the loss of our future daughter-in-law Brittany and her unborn baby back in March. So though I went through the motions of being happy the rest of the year, I really felt there was an enormous shadow over us all year long. I am hoping that we have gotten away from that and I have great hopes that 2010 will be a wonderful year for us.

I don’t really believe in making New Year’s resolutions since I never seem to be able to keep them so I am just going to say that I know what I need to do and I am going to do my best to do them. For my health I should eat better and exercise. Easier said than done! I love junk food, all food in general, and I hate to sweat! But, I want to live. So I’d guess I’d better adjust my attitude about these things!

For myself, I’m pretty sure I know what makes me happy and I just want more of the same. I’m reasonably sure I know this because one day I actually had to stop and think about it. Being a mom full-time, I kind of lost myself along the way. I’m not sure when it happened but I think it wasn’t too long after I got married that first time. When I was single, music was my life. After I got married I seldom listened to music. ‘The day the music died’. Ha. Ha. I don’t know why. Maybe I just got busy. I used to write poetry but then I didn’t have time and then I didn’t have ideas and then it was just not something I was interested in anymore.

When I realized this I made an effort to list the things I used to like and what I used to be like. I found I still like many of the same things but having grown up since then I also found I have no use for some of the other things that meant so much to me. While I still like music, I’d have to say it doesn’t have the spell over me that it used to. Neither does poetry. But that’s ok. I love old movies, love my pets, love other things that fill me with joy even more. Maybe that’s why I didn’t need the music anymore. I had my son, then more children, and they were the songs and the poetry in my life. That’s a much better way to look at it, isn’t it?

So what makes me happy now? Being at home with my family. A cozy room with soft, comfy furniture, low light, a warm blanket and my Yorkie by my side, though he is usually right next to my husband! Playing games with my kids or just talking to them about life, about what’s important to them. Spending time with my husband, just snuggling or talking about what we want to do in the future. I know how blessed I am. I believe I am DOUBLY blessed because not only do I have wonderful people and things in my life but I am aware of it and so I treasure it so much more.

So here’s to a year of good things, good times, the people that we love. Here’s to 2010!